i got void the night of my 24th birthday, in 2018. or rather, i ordered her from a tarantula breeder. you can actually ship invertebrates in the mail if you overnight them. which. is a thing.

First things first--THERE ARE NO SPIDER PICS IN THIS ZINE. All but the absolute most arachnophobic (as in, scared of the concept of spiders even like. existing) may rest easy.

(i like to think that was for my benefit bc while i do appreciate spiders as a motif i can't look at close-up pictures of actual spiders or pictures of tarantulas at all period for more than about 1.8 seconds without making a high-pitched whining noise so like. thank u marina 4 preserving my tender grip on sanity)

Anyway. This is a zine about a spider--all sorts of fun tarantula facts, feelings on loving/caring for a creature that may not even understand you exist, molting, food, general spider habits--but it's also about depression, breakups, housing instability in the Bay Area, fibromyalgia, metal, fandom, being validated by your faves, trauma, renewal, living with a monster, and how sometimes you need things that might not even know you exist to keep on living; whether that's a band or a spiderling. It really comes from within yourself. But sometimes having something else just...helps.

We hope this one helps you.

This zine is 24 pages, quarter size (4.25 x 5.5"), typed, fully collaged, and photocopied.